Doubtful-ijjjji: You say confidence is not a thing, but it sure _feels_ like a thing. Like sometimes, I feel I got it inside me, and sometimes I don't have it inside me at all. How do you explain this if its no a thing??
Doubtful-ijjjji: And you say its not something you need to build, yet there are things I can do that make me get it more and more inside me.. like moving around.. or putting on strong BL.. or doing a few 'warm up' approaches.. or even just having a very active day before I go sarging.. these build it inside me but you say its not something you can build. Surely you must be mistaken, no?
ijjjji:
What you talk of is MOMENTUM.
This is real. The good feeling it creates, is the same that the 'bullshit confidence model' aim for. But it makes 3 wrong assumptions about it:
1. That its part of you, like a personality trait.
2. That it comes from inside you.. your thoughts, feelings, past experiences etc.
3. That you can hold onto it, preserve it, keep it strong inside you.
I'll explain each:
1. That its part of you, like a personality trait.
If this was true, why is it so strong one day and totally gone the next, or maybe even minutes after? No - its not a part of you at all. Its only part of the SITUATION you have put yourself in.
(The STUPID idea that its part of you, can lead to thinking you are a wimp or a loser or that something is wrong with you, on days when its not there.. this is the most HARMFUL effect of the 'bullshit confidence idea'.)
2. That it comes from inside you.. your thoughts, feelings, past experiences etc.
If this was true, why is it so difficult (impossible?) to sit still and summon it mentally? Why can you only change it by doing stuff (changing your situation)? No - its not starting inside you and flowing towards the outside. It starts in the situation you are in, and flows into you.
3. That you can hold onto it, preserve it, keep it strong inside you.
Again, why does it come and go so suddenly if this was possible? No - you can not preserve it. Whenever you enter situations that don't create it, it will be gone. And when you enter situations that create it, it will be back.
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I say above that it comes from the situation.. but its important to realize that YOU decide what situations you seek out or create! You still control it 100%! And its not complicated - all you got to do is seek situations with lots of action in them, OR seek a more ACTIVE ROLE in your current situation.
Examples:
-Sitting still in the office or in class room, trying to solve problems theoretically for 3 hours.. removes all momentum.
-Washing the dishes then tidying the living room and cleaning the floor.. creates lots of momentum.
-Sitting still in a pub looking at girls.. removes all momentum.
-Talking to friends or colleagues or strangers.. creates a lot of 'social' momentum.
-Sitting still reading.. removes momentum.
-Moving around.. creates momentum and is a great first step.
-Deep thinking.. removes momentum.
-Putting on a more relaxed, or more masculine, or more sexual BL.. creates momentum.
-Doing stuff in general.. creates momentum - not doing stuff takes it away.
OK LETS GET PRACTICAL!!!
You are about to talk to a chick, but that fucker MR.CAREFUL wants to think about it first. Before, you would think stuff like:
-Oh no I lost my confidence!
-Oh no its an OFF night!
-GOD I HATE THIS - I'M SUCH A FUCKING LOSER! WHY IN HELL DIDN'T I APPROACH!? SHE EVEN SMILED AT ME!!
From now on you will think:
-Hehe oops I forgot to warm up. Better keep moving and do some short throw-away-warm-up-sets over there and maybe return later!
(Credit to Mystery, who first described this and named it 'momentum'. He also invented warm up sets, where you quickly open a few girls with no intention of gaming them.)
as seen on Fast Seduction
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