As we reach the highest levels of mastery in any endeavor, the game becomes one of expressing subtlety rather than extremes. This is true on so many levels. It is the reason why common men cannot view great art with any significant differentiation. You hear people saying ridiculous things like "YEAH, MY 7 YEAR OLD KID CAN PAINT JUST AS WELL AS PICASSO!!" There are men who cannot distinguish between the different types of fine wines, and there are women who cannot tell the difference between an authentic Hermes bag and a cheap imitation sold on the streets of NYC. These people are absolutely blind to subtlety and nuances.
Completely unaware and in a relatively drunken state most people in the modern world have become desensitized to the subtle pleasures of life through information overload and overstimulation. In such a world, overpopulated with nobody's, people attempt to mimic their unrealistically overhyped idols by flaunting their SO SO SO extreme behaviors and possessions, just so they do not go unnoticed! In PU, it is best to resist this temptation. Check it out.
The difference between a girl that is a 9 and a 10 is extremely subtle. When you were an AFC and only fucking 6's or 7's, you would have thought the 9 was in fact a 10! It is difficult to recognize a true 10 unless you are at least fucking a few 9's. Only then do you gain the level of differentiation necessary to do so.
It's a strange phenomenon. My girlfriends who I only consider 7's or 8's, my AFC friends will consider them as flawless and beautiful in every way. Likewise girls who I initially thought were 10's, after having them for a few weeks, I now only consider them 9's. This goes to show that rating scales are highly subjective, and I am only mentioning them to illustrate the importance of striving for subtlety in your attitudes, behaviors and interactions.
As we know, these scales are also the same for guys. If you really really want to be a 10, it is not WHAT techniques you use or WHAT method you use, but the subtleties and nuances of your behaviors, mannerisms and execution of your technique. This last little bit going from a 9 to a 10 is what will put you over the top and allow you to get the girls that can ACTUALLY tell the difference -- the ones who will appreciate the fact that you are a 10, because they are 10's themselves. Super hot women are very aware and keyed in to this type of thing because they are genetically programmed to. It helps them pick their sexual partners based on seemingly invisible cues.
That is what this post is about. I'll first talk about a few different problem areas, and then provide some technical solutions and exercises.
1. Body Language and Tonality
It's great to have really expressive body language - unconstrained, relaxed movement as well as deep and resonant tonality that can express a full range of emotions and moods. You want to aim for CONSCIOUS CONTROL over MANY different aspects of your body language and tonality. Extremes are great as long as they are controlled in a smooth fashion.
Try this:
Stand with your feet spread far apart. Take up SPACE... yeah... Look in the mirror. Does that look natural and cool? Hmmm. Now try this:
Stand up straight. Close your eyes and step in place. Look in the mirror how far apart your feet are spread. Now, separate them by another 2 inches. That's all. Perfect. Looks better and feels better, doesn't it? ;)
Let's try another one.
Lean back. Stand up, and physically LEAN BACK. What does that look like?
Now try this:
Stand up straight, close your eyes and step in place. Let your shoulders fall and pull them slightly back as you straighten your spine. Keep looking forward, let your head sit directly over the rest of your body as you imagine your weight grounding itself through your spine into the ground. Center yourself and observe what is in front of you in a slightly detached way. RELAX into this configuration. Now look in the mirror again. THAT is how to lean back. (This is difficult to explain in text, so don't blame me if you look retarded! ;)
All of this is operating underneath a woman's conscious awareness. Leaning back in a subtle way and retreating your energy from her DRAWS hers into you. If she becomes consciously aware of you LEANING BACK as in the first example, it's too obvious and unnatural. Hot girls who are used to 'hot' guys are EXTREMELY aware of this type of thing. The effect will do more harm than good.
You see, taking up enormous amounts of space is just an exercise meant to get rid of your old programming. If you naturally took up too much space in the first place (much less common, but possible) you would want to try taking up as little as possible, so that the automaticity of taking up too much space goes away. You want to show that you are dominant and relaxed, but not to the point where you look like a sedated, lazy slob. Sit up in your fucking chair homeboy! ;)
How do you practice this? The basic idea is to eliminate your automatic patterns, and replace them with cooler, more relaxed and conscious movement. Every negative experience and you've ever had is stored in your neurology, and it works both ways, my friend. Your body language will improve as you change your beliefs, and conversely your beliefs can be altered by changing your body language in a systematic way.
Using certain exercises to break down automaticities and using a trained eye to help the student re-learn and practice great body language and tonality is one of the fastest ways to bring him up to speed. The greater the skill level of the student, the more subtle the changes are. For example, helping a guy go from a 5 to a 6 requires adjustments of a few inches, but going from a 9 to a 10 requires adjustments of a fraction of an inch, and is below the awareness of all but the best PUA's and of course, the hottest women.
2. Phases of PU
PUA goes out and fucks a lot of chicks. PUA gradually gets better and better, keeps going out and gets hotter and hotter chicks. PUA is now fucking THE hottest chicks around. PUA analyzes all of his past success. PUA dons himself Guru status and slaps a price tag on his model. Problem is, as he got better and better, what he was doing became more and more streamlined. So when he thinks to himself, "I'm shifting to phase T-6 by doing X,Y,Z." it is smooth, natural and subtle. BUT when he was a newbie, his thought process was completely different. When newbie tries to shift to T-6, he will do a DRASTIC and UNCALLIBRATED X,Y,Z. Newbie, attempting mechanical model, gets blown out immediately.
That is why newbies shouldn't follow models with phase shifts. In the field, phase shifts are extremely subtle - invisible to the casual observer. I prefer to teach newbies to guide the focus of their attention.
When the guru was learning, was he using the model? NO. He uses a different set of intuitive internal dialogue which guides him through the process.
The phases happen automatically and naturally.
Do you have a friend that you don't see that often? I have a friend like this that I've known my entire life. I see him maybe twice a year. We don't talk on the phone that often. When I first see him, and he steps out of his car to greet me, It is a great feeling. But it isn't that comfortable yet. In the beginning, we joke around a lot, talk about what's been going on in our lives. After about 20 minutes, we're starting to feel comfortable again.
Then after a few hours of being together, it becomes extremely comfortable, and we're talking about our relationships, our ups and downs, and hopes and dreams for the future. The humor is still there, but interspersed within the conversation. I think this happens universally to everyone. We all know intuitively how to connect. My mental process was consistent, not forced. I wasn't thinking, "Ok, now phase shift into rapport."
In retrospect, I could have described the interaction as:
1. First twenty minutes - attraction
2. Rapport and comfort
3. Escalation to deeper levels, talking about relationships and emotions.
That IS the structure our interaction followed, but all of those things happened naturally. So what was my internal process and direction? Well it kinda went like this:
"We're already great friends. Wow, even though I've known him forever, there's a tiny bit of discomfort when I'm first seeing him. Ok, we'll joke around to get past that. I'm, going to connect with him, and have fun with him, and go with the flow. I'm going to be congruent and natural to every situation we're in, all the while having fun while doing so."
Or, applied to seducing a new chick:
-Assume attraction
-Tell jokes and stories to get through initial discomfort of meeting someone you don't know.
-Connect and share energy, enjoy yourselves together.
-Escalate as feels comfortable, without sacrificing the natural flow of the moment.
People already have great natural mechanisms for connecting with women. It's faster and more efficient to make use of those and tweak them, than to attempt to completely rewire them. Of course there are some guys who have internal barriers to connection, and those need to be addressed beforehand.
A sidenote about assuming attraction. Some seemingly advanced guys "assume attraction" and then do absolutely nothing. That is incorrect. The way to assume attraction is to imagine that she really is already attracted and then deliver your piece of material. Assume attraction and push her through your structure. What it does is improve your delivery and effectiveness of material. Assuming attraction works because attraction is ALREADY present for the majority of average looking, well dressed guys. However, it is not generally recommended to assume sexual responsiveness. Although she IS initially attracted right off the bat, you still have to push her through the process of getting her willing to have sex with you. That is where "game" comes in. Most guys make this error because for us, initial attraction = sexual responsiveness. For a woman attraction = potential sexual responsiveness. That is, sexual responsiveness = initial attraction + process of gaming.
Assuming attraction is a great mindset. Chances are, if you are using the techniques and routines, and not getting results, the assuming attraction mindset is what is missing. It will put all of the subtleties and nuances in place, making your delivery congruent and on point.
3. Reframes
A guy in your local Lair goes out to try out some of his brand new ASF techniques. While in a conversation with a woman he says: "Yeah, you want me. I'm an ass model. Are you trying to get into my pants?? Hey, hands off the merchandise, it's $20 bucks a touch!" Girl walks away.
What the fuck happened? I had frame control! I said all the right things, didn't I??
The gap between the frame (based on the combined beliefs of all involved parties) and the PUA's intended frame was TOO LARGE. In every situation there is a realm or zone of possible frames which can be applied. For the sake of this post, let's call this the realm of 'situational congruence'. If you use a technique that imposes a frame outside of this zone, it will appear manipulative or as if you are trying too hard. It will work against you.
There are things that can increase this realm. Your experience base, your sense of humor, your looks and style, social proof and vision of possibility. Working on all of those will increase the amount of things you can get away with, and make it more likely for people to accept the frames you impose. Once you impose a frame on the fringes of the zone, the zone gets bigger, and allows you to impose more and more outlandish yet favorable frames.
What you want to do is constantly push against the boundaries of the realm in a smooth manner, without going overboard.
Visualize how it would go down. In the example in the beginning of this section, what would the guy have if he really were cooler than the chick? Well first of all, if he really was cooler than her, he would be comfortable and relaxed. Second, he wouldn't have dwelled so heavily on that type of frame, because it would have been obvious. Thirdly, he would do talk about something fun, humorous or relevant to the situation in order to make HER feel more comfortable. The fact that he has higher value would be demonstrated by his energy and focus of attention.
Get that in your mind, visualize how it would go. Assume attraction and deliver!
The more you work on this, the more crazy ass shit you can get away with, and the faster your pickups will progress!
Breaking situational congruence is also very common in the initial approach. Going up to a girl and trying TOO HARD for rapport by asking too many questions or excessively complimenting is not tasteful or subtle. Going up and busting on her for no reason has the same effect.
That's the reason why we start with neutral rapport. Compliments are actually neutral if they are sincere. BUT neutral is never flat neutral anyway... It is just either a VERY SUBTLE way of trying for rapport or a very subtle way of breaking rapport. Going to far either way is too drastic and comes off weird. It's the same thing when a car dealer kisses your ass and he seems manipulative. But a good car dealer, despite the fact that you KNOW he's trying to get something from you, will be more subtle or neutral in the way he will lead your emotions, you like him you like the car, bingo, it's sold.
4. AMOG's
There is blatant use of AMOG techniques both in the field and ON THIS BOARD. First, I'll talk about the ones in field.
Tooling on guys usually works to destroy their state and combined with humor, puts the frame of the interaction in your favor. Most of the time it will make them give up right away and leave you alone. The problem is however, that AMOG tactics are transparently clear to hot women. That's right. Even if the AMOG doesn't know what you're up to, to savvy women in set, it is obvious.
It is much better not to use "Cool shirt man, I had the same one in third grade ....etc" (Especially when he is better dressed than you! Who are you kidding??) rather use subtle reframes that presuppose you are cooler, or already have greater rapport with the chick. If the AMOG is actually a cool guy (and if he's not, then don't even bother) it is unwise to treat him as though he is mentally handicapped and not a threat at all. That type of thing will just break situational congruence and make you look lame. Consider the following two cases:
Case #1
AMOG: "So, HB, where are you from?"
PUA: "Wow man you're tall. Like wicked tall, like so tall! Do you play basketball?"
AMOG: "Ummm..." (girl codes HB with eyes)
HB: "hahahha"
PUA: "Yeah nice shirt too. I bet you get all the girls.."
HB: "hahahaha"
(AMOG and HB flee only to meet up at a later time, at which they can laugh at your lame ass as a context to continue their interaction and eventually fuck ;)
Case #2
AMOG: "So, HB where are you from?"
PUA: "Oh, you two haven't been introduced? This is my little cousin Jennifer." (eye-code and smirk to HB)
AMOG: "Oh really?"
PUA: "Yes, she's in town and she's looking to meet some nice guys. Are you a nice romantic guy? Do you have a girlfriend?"
AMOG: "Ummm..." (It is now almost impossible to maintain situational congruence AND game the chick)
(optional) PUA: "No man, we're just fucking around, I'm sorry. What's your name?"
Here, since PUA is actually cool and AMOG is cool too, PUA doesn't feel the need to try to gain status artificially. He is already comfortable with the chick, so the AMOG reframe is congruent. He is just creating a playful little scenario that is neither mean, nor blatantly insecure. It just so happens to also impose the following conditions.
1. The chick and the PUA are on the same team, having a great time at AMOG's expense.
2. AMOG now isn't sure if it's true or not, and will play it safe just in case it is...
3. AMOG gets the sense that there is much stronger rapport between PUA and HB, so will maintain congruence to that.
One of the redeeming qualities of a natural is just that - They almost ALWAYS maintain situational congruence! The difference is, they aren't pushing it as aggressively and leading it in such precise directions as us.
AMOGS AMONG ASFers
Well respected and highly accomplished PUA # 1 writes a post. Equally well respected and highly accomplished PUA # 2 reads the post and responds with something like:
"Good job man, wow I can see you're really starting to get it. Yeah man, from my experience X will happen in about 6.345 months from now, and then you'll be as good as I was when I did Y. Oh, and thanks for posting!"
Nice try, but remember this is a board of PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND FRAMES AND PRESUPPOSITIONS. While these conversational reframes work wonders in the field against average guys, most guys on here will look at this type of shit, and after a brief moment of disbelief, will then think "What the fuck is PUA # 2's agenda? Why is he constantly trying to gain status, when it is already clear that he's great?" In the context of a pickup message board, these types of reframes BREAK SITUATIONAL CONGRUENCE. Talking to a fellow PUA as if he is a little kid just makes you look manipulative. If you're a top PUA who is socially aware, then be cool and set a good example. My man tigger wrote a post about this a while back, it was EXCELLENT AND MUCH NEEDED.
I think this is really the next level of PU, once you start getting some success with the canned routines that we talk about. When I started paying attention to these types of things and doing different exercises to increase my awareness of body language and frames, it really helped my game. It became a lot easier to attract hotter women just by getting into a normal conversation with her. This is the type of game you hear about when they say it looks like the PUA didn't do anything special but still ended up fucking the girl.
Discussion welcome.
as seen on Fast Seduction
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen